When I think of wellness, one of the biggest challenges for some of us is...
JUST NOT TAKING ON MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE!
By that, I don’t mean what you CAN NOT PHYSICALLY handle...rather,
what is just TOO DARN MUCH TO DO.
If you are Type A (like me), or you like needing to be needed (the old me) or you are just a smarty pants who can juggle more than most , then listen up.
MULTITASKING is both a blessing and a curse.
A GIFT and a BURN OUT!!! ..and...often while you may be running around like a chicken with your head cut off... someone else is enjoying the fruits of your labor. (AKA slacking OFF)
On the other hand...what if you don't have that type of energy?...you never have. The daily tasks or work obligations feel overwhelming? You just can’t get what you need to get done? Well, that may involve much more...let’s talk later.
OK, so here are a few scenarios....what do you do?
Let’s just say for example, You have had a really long day...YOU ARE TIRED. As soon as you get home, your wife or your husband asks you, “ Did you pick up our laundry?”
Another example...you are at work and a co-worker asks you to finish up some task that may be his/her responsibility? “Hey, could you get that for me?”
Or how bout this...your son or daughter is sitting at the kitchen bar very close to the fridge and asks you to get him/her a glass of milk.
This may sound silly to you..or very familiar.. BUT, I used to get back in the car, go get the laundry...do whatever my co-worker asked because I was such a pleaser...and...get the milk for my son when he was closer to the fridge than I !!! CRAY CRAY!!! Meanwhile, the laundry was piling up!!!
The new me is working on asking this question....kindly yet firmly.
“IS THIS SOMETHING YOU REALLY NEED ME TO DO, OR IS IT SOMETHING YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?” Often I have found, the other person automatically says,
“Oh ya, no biggy, never mind.”
I mean these are just simple requests, yet when your plate is already full, they can push you over the edge..building up resentment and robbing you of your health. Often in the spirit of giving, you end up ENABLING. Of course YOU WANT TO BE HELPFUL, and YOU SHOULD!
YET.. you must create healthy boundaries in order to stay healthy!
In the spirit of wellness, ask this question today if necessary. Remember to say it kindly. You don’t need to apologize afterwards or give a million reasons why you are asking, just ask.
“Is this something you really need me to do, or is it something you can take care of yourself?”
P.S.This doesn’t stop you from being kind and helpful ❤️ but it may encourage someone else to become so.